Hey creative souls, changing habits can feel so darn hard. Don’t I know it.
Doesn’t it just exhaust you? It’s the thing we moan about quietly to ourselves, but we never talk about in public.
We KNOW its our bad habits that sabotage us. We just don’t know why it’s so hard to change them.
I know its not only me who battles…
Everyone I’ve worked with has a fight of their own, no matter how successful they are. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others. Most of the time we look at everyone and think we don’t measure up. Everyone has an area of their life they struggle with.
We just don’t tell.
I’ve been amazed at how habits are at the heart of what blocks us. How habits happen over and over and over and over and over again…like a DVD on repeat.
It may be unhealthy eating habits, or implementing a new sales campaign or simply wanting to be more loving to your beloved.
I use to think it was just us more artsy, chaotic types that struggled. I discovered people who are very structured, struggle just as much. Some people find change incredibly stressful.
Basically you’re not alone. I wanna stop the shame around it. The more we can talk about it freely the more love we can apply to it. The greater the love quotient on ANYTHING the more readily what doesn’t work anymore can neatly step out of the way.
It’s about meeting changing habits with understanding, patience and TRICKS.
SO. CHANGING HABITS. Wherefore art though so dammed hard!
Boy oh boy! It’s such an energy kicker. You probably spend more time TRYING to break bad habits than actually doing it. Trying takes more energy than the actual thing itself. Starting something takes enormous energy. Until momentum takes over. It’s the act of CHANGING habits that is the energy taker. One kinda has to wind up the clock first… that’s why every time we try and stop, try and stop – we end up exhausted and burnt out.
Do you ride a bicycle? Do you remember what it took to learn how to do it? How many times you had to fall?
Gosh. It’s exhausting. That’s why riding bicycles is for kids man. They have so much extra energy they don’t even think about falling off and getting back on.
Ah… there is something there. Kids don’t think about it when they fall off. They just get back up. They are NOT TRYING. They are doing. The act of getting on and falling down is not trying to them. It is part of the fun.
Falling off is part of the process of building the right muscles and co-ordination to ride a bike.
It’s the over-thinking things that exhausts us. It’s judging, worrying, crying, complaining about it and the impatience that sucks the life force right out of us.
Inner Locus Control is the ability to master and manage ourselves no matter what happens around us. When we have a high locus control, we are not easily influenced by external forces.
A low inner locus control leaves us at the mercy of everyone around us.
…what that means is my feelings are my master not ME. I decide to exercise every day. I wake up and feel cold. I go back to bed. I wake up feeling miserable I watch the telly.
It is the habits of the mind that have the greatest influence on our ability to change our habits. It is time to teach the mind to FOLLOW THROUGH. The mind is like a child. It needs lots of understanding.
|I am a strong believer that mental, emotional and spiritual preparation are the most important building blocks to success. In my line of work self development is vital for success. Working with Jo on my self has made all the difference in getting
my career and business to a higher level because she helped me with the fundamentals for what I needed to get where I am today. I can be who or what I want to be, because I started with being myself first. Thank you Mama Kalavati!
– Tumisho Masha (Film actor & entrepreneur)
Three Secret Tricks to Changing Habits With A Lot Less Fuss
- Get struck by lightening, have a heart attack, a near death cancer experience or any great life event that literally shakes the cajeepers out of you. Babe, this may NOT BE A ROUTE you’d wanna take.
- Enter into an intense retreat. That’s what rehab programs are about. i.e. change your entire surroundings.
- Trick the brain little-by-little. Make the steps so small the mind doesn’t notice.
The first one is simply not up to us. Thank goodness.
The second one is great…and useful. Thats what the FreshStart Coaching Ecourses are designed for. The thing is when you go home to the old environment you’ve still got the old memories and triggers. Unless you can just about shift and control everything around you: Fire the spouse. Rebuild your house.
But little environment changes do help. I always set about cleaning, decluttering and reorganising before I make life changes.
Make the environment conducive to what you want to do so that it’s easier to do it.
I have the computer set up – ready for my writing. I have the blender and fruit ready for a smoothie. My clothes and mat ready for me to do yoga.
Do something small each day.
If 2-minutes is too long, make it 30-seconds. Celebrate the accomplishment. Reward your mind for following through. Measure it. Research shows that people who document their journey and measure, have a much higher chance of success.
Why changing habits will grow you?
The thing I need to tell you most of all:
It’s okay that you may keep falling off.
You are not a failure. There is nothing wrong with you. Actually you are what I call…
…wait for it..HUMAN. (GASP)
Habits are so deep that changing habits can be like ‘trying’ to stop a train moving on one railway track to instantly go on another railway track.
What I have discovered though is the process of changing habits actually grows your wings. Without that growth you’d not be able to fly.
It doesn’t feel good AT ALL.
But those bad feelings are mostly because of the story you tell about falling off.
Unless you change the habit of your mind that turns it into a raging battle, you’ll continue to hate the process and miss out on the beautiful gifts you receive along the way.
It’s in the fall that you’ll learn the most. Through the process you’ll come closer and closer to your heart’s longing.
Tiny Steps. Here is the KICKER:
Put a frog in water. if you turn up the heat in tiny amounts the frog won’t notice. It ends up being boiled. This is a horrible real life metaphor. Just thinking about this makes me shudder.
It illustrates why we end up in trouble. Because we don’t notice all the ways we turn up the water to boiling in our own lives until it’s too late.
We can use this knowing to reverse things. Do something in tiny amounts every day.
Soon enough you’ll go on auto pilot. The thing you love to hate will become the thing you love to love. It will be as easy as breathing.
The key is tiny-tiny changes.
In the FreshStart Bootcamp E-Course one of the first activities is to walk every day for at least one block. That takes about 2 minutes. Just 2 minutes. It’s so small the mind barely complains.
The mind can handle – “Oh, its just to the end of the block. Then I can come back and get into bed.”
Chances are you’ll do more 2-minutes. Two of the FreshStarters went on to run marathons. One had been a smoker and hadn’t exercised in years.
Tools make changing habits that much easier.
1. Meditation over time rewires the brain and cleans out negative thoughts.
2. Sleep. Change requires energy. Allow your body and mind time to rejuvenate.
3. Baby Steps – trick your mind by taking tiny movements in the right direction.
4. Changes in the environment – make changes in the environment that will make it that much easier for you to do it.
5. Go on a retreat, a bootcamp, to a rehab program.
6. Hire a coach. It helps to have someone who can ask the right questions, dig deep and shift you into the energy you need to make the change.
7. Get a support or love Buddy. Someone who is invested in your success. Check out http://tinyhabits.com for a systematic buddy program.
8. Find time to Relax & Have Fun. If you make it too serious you’ll hate the ride. Enjoy life.
9. Journal, measure, document. Make it fun and creative.
If you want to dive into an intense, supportive program without leaving home, join us for the 21-Day FreshStart Reboot Challenge. It’s part of the Freshstart Bootcamp and it’s designed to give you a lifestyle turn around that will build you a foundation to follow your dreams. It’s absolutely Free.
Because you’re worth it!
You’ll get better and better at it. I promise.
Do you have questions? Are you looking for personal coaching?
Give me a shout to set up your 1-1 introduction sessions.
0845002292 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Copy right 2015