Resentments – A Quick Guide To Sickness

Man do I have a truck load of resentments. I thought I was the forgiveness QUEEN. It seems not. How have I recently come to this conclusion?

                        I’m MAD.

Not just sometimes. ALOT of the time. I’m angry at the smallest of things. The petty stuff.

anger-18658_640When it comes to the big things to be outraged at, like wars, poverty and corruption – I just get depressed. Or I choose to stay inspired and bring love into the world.

Yet, I’m bringing a dam sight more anger to this world than love. Because I’m mad. Waaaah!  What a realisation. Because I am all about the peace.Resentments Are A Short Cut To Emotional & Physical Sickness

I’d not noticed before because I’m a forgiver. Right?

I’ve not seen how little I forgave Life for being the way she is.

Not that Life needs forgiveness.

I wonder, if you too, with a tendency to pessimism and self pity, also resent life.  I somehow find it comforting to think I may not be alone.

(The blessing of this tendency is it’s the reason I was so drawn to personal growth and coaching in the first place. Everything apparently has its gifts)

Every serious physical illness seems to have a link to resentments. If you have breast cancer – you need to forgive, release, let go. Author and healer, Caroline Myss says ….

“If you have depression, if you’re heart broken, if you have heart problems or high blood pressure. Underneath all of that is also a mountain of resentments.”

The last two years, I’ve noticed how bitter someone in my circle is. So much so that it has really affected me. Yet, she is ME. I am her. If I was my own coach, I’d be doing shadow work (what disturbs us in another person are aspects of ourselves that need healing).


I have the seeds of bitterness inside me. My beautiful, gorgeous husband, lets me know in the kindest of ways that I’m complaining too much. It’s hard to hear. I now suspect that’s what husband’s are for.

Especially AFTER ALL the work I’ve done on myself.

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE? I hear my mind wailing.

How long is a piece of string? – replies God.

I sigh. If I don’t release my anger – I’ll end up like this cat.

 The Way Out of Resentments!

I’m contemplating my newly discovered, old friend ‘Resentment‘ under a massive tree on the farm of my favorite vegan restaurant Leafy Greens. I’m practising a forgiveness prayer Ho’oponopono.


It comes to me like a lightening bolt. I like to think it’s a message from a Higher Source:

‘Jo, you’re ungrateful.’

I am. I’m ungrateful for all the amazing things in my life. Sure I have moments. But in the day to day world I forget, I disconnect, I die.

1. Gratitude is the way out.

Oh flip, for all the simplicity of it, ever since Oprah made it famous with gratitude journals, why can’t I have lighentening strike me DIFFERENT over night. I now resent gratitude.


It’s the small things I need to practise. I’m resentful about the traffic; that I need to sleep early to wake early. I resent my body not handling all the abuse it’s incurred over the years; I resent that I have to charge clients to earn a living. I resent washing the dishes and preparing meals. I resent that in order to connect with God and to experience profound spiritual growth, I must make time for meditation. I resent I’m required to attend meetings, sell and market my business. I resent Facebook.

OMG, I resent that swearing is a downer on the higher frequencies of life because it feels so sweet to add superlatives to my expression. Even if that does mean it’s a sign I lack the vocab. Who the #*@&# cares!!!!!

I resent that I can’t drink coffee. I REALLY WANT A CUP OF COFFEE!!!

2. Enquiry into the truth of my thoughts. It means taking my thoughts to paper to see if they’re really true. ‘I really want a cup of coffee’ Is that true? It sure feels like it. I won’t know though until I enquire into that thought. I can do this every time I feel that agitation. I can do The Work. (Byron Katie is my best.)

3. Exercise and right diet. I can release all the toxins that are stuck in my body and my colon.

4. The grand ultimate – meditate, meditate, meditate.There is no greater cleanser. If only I can sit long enough in my agitation.

I’m giving myself my own sage advice. Taking myself back to my own basics. I don’t want to grow old and bitter like my friend. I want to grow old and beautiful of heart. That means being able to be with whatever IS. No matter how uncomfortable.

It’s perhaps the greatest life lessonthat those of us who tend towards addictions ever learn. To just SIT STILL.

Copyright 2015

Anne-Marie Clulow-Visser ·

I’ve stopped “working through” my anger, and started enjoying her. Enjoying the way I can allow myself to being %#** angry, and the world doesn’t end. No one leaves if I enjoy her. Delicious anger. I sit and stew in her until I’m bored. Once I’ve truly enjoyed every schadenfreude juicy part, she’s spent. And she leaves me with gifts. To each his own. I couldn’t get there by forgiving, I had to get there by allowing it.

Julie Dakers ·

Wow thanks for the epiphany I’m so filled with resentment that is pushed so far down I no longer even remember all I’m resentful over. I can’t remember when I just breathed in some clean fresh air and thought “wow I’m so blessed to be alive” and yes I find it so hard to just sit….. So many lessons to learn, hello Bootcamp

Vangile Makwakwa ·

I love this Jo. I would totally recommend yoga and past life regression as awesome tools to release resentment and get to a place of forgiveness. I could go on on and on about how amazing past life regression s but I wont LOL

Hippilily Michal ·

That really resonated with me. Resentment is so debilitating and it’s insidious the way they sometimes quietly build up and then manifest themselves in other behaviors.

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